#the arson apartment

[sleeping-arsonist]

big shoutout to my roommate who just turned the lights off in our living room while i was eating soup so i was left eating soup by candlelight in the dark like a little victorian waif (her words). if i could draw, this post would do numbers

[sleeping-arsonist]

in my defense, i said we should watch this WAY before i made you watch arcane, we just didn’t get around to it until now and the timing was very unfortunate 💀

*while watching The Dead Poets Society*

My Roommate: *who made me watch it and arcane* contrary to what's been happening in don't enjoy showing you things that will ruin your day

[thefloatingstone]

btw I would just like to point out that Gävlebocken wasn't burnt down in 2019 nor was it burned down in 2020.

And you saw how that went for us.

BURN THE OFFERING TO APPEASE THE OLD GODS!!!!

[darewolfcreates]

Thanks for playing with me <3

scanner messed up the colors but what ever.

PHOTO BOMB BLAST!!!!

PHOTO BOMB PART 2 COMING SOON.

[lanternlightss]

hello dear mutual. clingy bardven doodle for u :]

HELLO DEAR MUTUAL !!! THEY ARE SO CUTTEEEEEE

oh the way both of them are just 🥰 and ☺️ and ^_^ they are so Squishy and soft here !! like those plush animals filled with beads …. do not separate, they are a package deal, hugging …. !!!! they will both be very sad if you do :( !!!

god i esp love how bard has both arms around venti and venti has a hand on his chest. the little tilting of their head towards each other too …. ohhh this has to be so nice for both of them AAWWH 🥺🥺

[flowercrowngods]

Eddie slots himself neatly beside Steve, who in turn has wedged himself awkwardly, deliberately so, against the wall so that the bed is sprawling in comparison to his body.

"Heard I'm not a house fire, Harrington," Eddie says easily. "Heard I'm just a boy."

Steve holds his breath, knowing Eddie can tell.

"That lighter - Wayne thinks he lost it, y'know? Big, chunky old thing. Doesn't know that I have, well, light fingers when I want to. He trusts me. I break that trust. I think he pretends I don't. Hurts less that way. Or just different. Different kind of hurt." Eddie huffs out a laugh.

"Why are you telling me this?" Steve asks, not wanting to blame Robin for telling, but desperately wanting to blame someone, somehow.

"What do you think the first thing a kid with a lighter does?" Eddie asks, and runs a finger over the shell of Steve's ear, making him shiver for all the wrong reasons. Steve wants to ask. Can already smell the smoke. "Yeah, you got it."

"Firebug," Steve says, remembering for the first time the unexplained fires from a few years back. Back when he didn't have to care. "They never caught you."

"I freaked myself out, got too close to the flame," Eddie says, and presses a finger right against Steve's cheek, making it to hollow. "Look what I did again."

"I'm not a flame," Steve says as Eddie pulls his finger away and traces Steve's jawline.

"Sure would like to watch you burn though," Eddie says.

"Did Robin make you do this?" Steve asks and Eddie shakes his head.

"Would that be easier? You could turn me away with my virtue intact? Instead, here I am, the worst version of myself still loving the worst version of yourself, and what are you supposed to do with that."

"You know how to get away with it," Steve says, really realising. "You - love me."

"Both true," Eddie says. "Whatever that means to you, I'll take it."

"You deserve better," Steve says.

"That's for me to decide, isn't it?" Eddie asks. "You fascinate me, Harrington. In the way of rare things. Or deadly things, perhaps."

Steve moves then, so he can line their mouths up.

"The way you talk about me - like you actually see me - "

"I'm just a boy," Eddie says.

"No, I don't think so," Steve says, breathing in the air Eddie's breathing out. "No, not at all."

And then Eddie kisses him, and it's like suffocating, but the best kind, and Steve doesn't fight to inhale, getting lost in it instead, and maybe Eddie is a deadly thing too, because Steve is light headed and gasping when they part.

"Okay, he says. Okay.

Eddie is not just a boy. He's a bolt of lightning that shoots into a tree and burns it from the inside in a beautiful display of nature's forces. He's a house-fire. He's the sun.

Steve is the tree. He is the house. He is the flower turning toward the sun to stay alive. He's the boy who forgot how to breathe air that doesn't smell of gasoline or smoke.

But it's okay. It's okay.

[rembytem]

Hey can I get uuuhhhh Spin in A10 with a side of Arson?

Order up! One Spin with a side of Arson! (fire not included)

Fusion lads by @fusionlads

[soupkiddo]

love how my mom heard that I was moving to Oakland to live with a group of close friends and immediately starting going on about the crime rates, but had no problem with me moving ON MY OWN to the STABBING CAPITAL OF CANADA with literally NO FRIENDS OR PERSONAL CONNECTIONS TO SPEAK OF

[gloopadoop]

Wondering if the song ‘I’ll Make a Man out of You” from Mulan actually bypasses sexism by claiming the four defining pillars of manhood are as follows:

1. You must be swift as a coursing river

2. With all the force of a great typhoon

3. With all the strength of a raging fire

4. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Thereby making the standards for true manhood equally unattainable for all people, no matter their birth sex or gender. You heard it here first, folks, truly being a man has nothing to do with your genitals or toxic masculinity and everything to do with how much god-like natural power you can amass.

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Now for the final round!

@hellsitegenetics

I love them

I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.

it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!

so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches

perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for

It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!

Creatures 👍

Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite

Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.

I love them. English speakers talk like moths

If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!

They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!

uhh it’s cool

BLAST

There are so many weird bugs in the world

Yippee!!

If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.

Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH

Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie

the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise

This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.

If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3

@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?

The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3

a vote for me is a vote for arson! This message was approved by hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavle is SUCH a public service and holiday feature

what's more tumblr than comical destruction and holidays?

sometimes you just gotta vote with your matchsticks

Bringing a cultural staple to tumblr since 2021

Arson is so much more fun

It would be really funny and ironic if it survives the tournament

you have no idea how much joy watching the chronicling of the gavlebocken brings me every year

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet provides an essential public service

always love seeing a bit of Swedish history on my dash 'Swedish bamboo season'

the goat account is peak gimmick blog

If I don't get to beat the goat then nobody does. -pointless-achievements

Never ask Tumblr to choose between lies and arson! The winner threatens by nature to rip apart the very fabric of our DNA!

goat statues made out of straw are exciting and interesting

I wanna see things burn

the goat is an essential part of tumblr culture and the goat blog is a sacred keeper of the tumblr high holidays

watching to see if the big straw goat has burned down each year is a true delight, something I never knew existed until tumblr and the blog dedicated to it

the incredibly focused nature of @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is what makes their gimmick superior.

Please guys bite gavlebocken

Look, I'm Danish. I was put on this earth to annoy the Swedes and vice versa, but even I voted for @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavlebocken is also such a fun name and this blog informed be about its existence, so for that I am grateful

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is providing a vital service! Every year, people rely on their updates regarding the fate of our most beloved Yule Goat! How could they NOT deserve the win!?

sacred anti-corporate arson

a vote for gävlebocken is a vote for anarchy!

pls vote for them they're the funniest gimmick keeping track on the funniest phenomena in recent human history, like when i look at their acc i think to myself this is what tumblr was created for

the goat is the GOAT

HASGAVLEBOCKENBURNEDDOWNYET DESERVES TO WIN, I have them on post alert for a REASON

the holiday season wouldn't be the same without them

they do important reporting. Do you look at the news and be like 'the reporters aren't doing work they're just telling you whats happening.' Have some respect for the goat news

let the weird burnt sacrificial ritual of it all appeal to you

nothing makes my December more interesting, arson should win

doesn't barge in on other peoples posts which is always a good thing in my books. not a fan when obnoxious gimmick blogs turn a decent post into a garbled mess

[sleeping-arsonist]

big shoutout to my other roommate who was sitting next to me while i was writing my essay, saw my copy of the odyssey, and asked, “do you ever say it like od-ussy?”

[arson-09]

i know that in acosf lucien is in spring court. but i haven’t read acosf and so that simply doesn’t matter to me

[nizikano-impact]

this preview image is killing me

"Hey, Katari, what are you in for?" "Well on paper, arson. Anyway hold still. :)"

[darewolfcreates]

Splat

[thoughtportal]

This is a developing news story and may be updated as more information is obtained. If you value such information, please support this Substack.

On Dec. 1, a woman immolated herself with a Palestinian flag outside the Israeli consulate in Atlanta.

Now, according to the Atlanta Fire Rescue Department, the woman — referred to in their report as “Jane Doe” — is alive and “in stable condition” at Grady Memorial Hospital, where she has been since the immolation.

After repeated requests for her name, the department stated to this reporter in an email that it “does not disclose the identities of victims”. Repeated inquiries to Grady, which is a public hospital, went unanswered. The hospital houses the Walter L. Ingram Burn Center.

“Jane Doe” is 27.

When asked if they had made any comment to tell the public that she was still alive this entire time, the official at Atlanta Fire Rescue Department said they “shared the last updated with local media via email on 12/21/23. The release stated: ‘The victim remains hospitalized in critical condition. The security guard, who attempted to assist the burn victim, has been released from the hospital.’” Several internet searches on that quote produce no results. This would also indicate that "Jane Doe" went from critical to stable condition without public notice. 

Aaron Bushnell immolated himself at the Israeli embassy in Washington, D.C. on Sunday, explaining “I will no longer be complicit in genocide” and shouting “Free Palestine!” repeatedly as he burned alive. So, his case — unlike many other self-immolations including Gregory Levey, Raymond Moules, Timothy T. Brown, Malachi Ritscher and others — has received some attention. Thus, “Jane Doe” being ignored fits with the usual pattern. Bushnell is the exception — probably because he livestreamed it. See “Ignoring Immolators Lulls the Society to Sleep.”

As Bushnell was burning himself alive, an officer pointed a gun at him, barking orders as if he constituted a threat. A security guard, Michael Harris, sustained injuries working to rescue “Jane Doe” — but there were similarities, where she was actually viewed as a potential threat.

At one point, the police report for “Jane Doe” refers to it as being a case of “arson”.

Much of the media coverage and general discussion of her self-immolation in December focused on if she had done damage. The Atlanta Police Chief said: “We believe this building remains safe, and we do not see any threat here.” The Israeli government released a statement: “It is tragic to see the hate and incitement toward Israel expressed in such a horrific way.”

Police records indicate that they obtained a search warrant and entered an apartment they believed to be associated with “Jane Doe” — initially using a drone:

The drone was able to relay information as to the layout and the belongings inside. After it was deemed "safe" entry was made with bomb technicians. While clearing the apartment no improvised explosive devices were located.

The police report also noted:

During the search a Quran was found in the bedroom along with a [sic] Arabic dictionary and a Hebrew dictionary. The bedroom bookshelf contained books related to fiction and fantasy. A "Drug use for grown ups" book was on the bookshelf as well. Two journals were seized from the bedroom. A thumbdrive was seized from the bedroom as well. A laptop computer was seized from the kitchen counter. A copy of the search warrant was left in the living room of the apartment. The front door [of] the apartment was secured before law enforcement left the premises.

When pressed for more information in compliance with an Open Records Request under Georgia law, Atlanta Fire Rescue Department claimed: “There is an ongoing and active investigation for the incident in question, which is why the only releasable information has been shared via the incident report. Investigative documentation is not available for release until the investigation is closed.”

[lanternlightss]

hello my beautiful mutual. bardven going through it doodle for u

AAWAAHAH

HELLO MY WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL MUTUAL. PPOINTS !!!!! AT THEM !!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS

oh the absolutely defeated pose and slumped shoulders and the bubbling of the knife imbedded into the BACK …. back stabbed …. and how bard is trying to comfort, the hand reaching to cradle the jaw …. it’s okay, just hold on a moment longer,,,, the matching with the knife and hands 👁️

arson oh my god. arson im holding this up high and pointing excitedly at you and cheering